


The path we follow

by SaoryEmanoelle



Series: VanVen Week 2019 [7]
Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: M/M, Post-Kingdom Hearts III, VanVen Week (Kingdom Hearts), Vanitas Redemption (Kingdom Hearts), vanitas - Freeform, vanvenweek2019, ventus - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-28
Updated: 2019-12-28
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:20:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21995128
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SaoryEmanoelle/pseuds/SaoryEmanoelle
Summary: Ventus can't fight Vanitas' demons for him. But he can walk the path alongside him.
Relationships: VanVen - Relationship, VenVan - Relationship
Series: VanVen Week 2019 [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1576609
Comments: 6
Kudos: 40





	The path we follow

**Author's Note:**

> VanVen Week Day 7! The prompt I chose was 'Rebirth'.
> 
> The first scene was heavily inspired by this artwork by soaring-aurora ( https://soaring-aurora.tumblr.com/post/189851909629/vanven-week-day-4-phobia ). Check out their other works, they're amazing!
> 
> (Also, a little edit: I changed the title because I remembered another writer wrote a fic with a title that sounds a lot like the one I picked for this so it's changed now! )

Something was wrong.

Vanitas jolted awake gasping, choking with saliva, unable to scream. His hands searched for anything to hold on to, fingers trembling as anxiety grasped him by his throat. He thought he was dying. He felt like he was dying, not for the first time and probably not for the last.

“Vanitas? Vanitas?!”

The air around him felt hot, suffocating. His legs and arms were tingling and he choked up a sob, lightheaded. His hand was still holding on tight to what it’d found, which happened to be Ventus’ hand, but his mind was far far away. Clinging to the memories his nightmares insisted on bringing back, to the fear that there was still something waiting for him in that fateful place.

“Vanitas!”

Ventus squeezed his hand and reached for his face. Only then Vanitas looked at him but his face was still coming into view. For a moment he was nothing but a blur, a shadow with two red eyes that stared into his very being. 

_ I know what you are _ , these eyes screamed.  _ I know what you are not. _

“Vani!“

But there were no such red eyes staring at him, only light blue ones. Worried eyes, not judging ones.

“I-I… I c-can’t breathe-!” Vanitas cried out and leaned forward, Ventus quick to hold him, to caress him. This had happened before. The day before. Two days ago. It was happening every night and Vanitas was growing weaker with despair and exhaustion. He couldn’t sleep during the day but even when he did it was never enough. 

“V-Ven, I-I’m so sorry...!”

His voice was low, his words mangled with sobs, cut with his gasps as he held on to the blond begging for help. Ventus had tried to help him with before but Curaga never did anything, neither did the herbs he brought from Twilight Town to help. Vanitas wasn’t simply wounded on the outside and the wounds and scars he had in his heart couldn’t be healed with a simple spell. They were far too deep.

“Shh… In and out… In and out...”

“I c-can’t… I can’t, Ven-”

“With me, come on. In… And out… In… And out...”

Ventus rubbed Vanitas’ back with care. A piece of his own heart broke every time Vanitas cried like this, every time he hurt. And right now he was hurting. Terribly.

"I don't… I d-don't want to-"

"Vani, you need to let it go. Stop holding it in-"

"N-No!"

"Vanitas, please!"

"No!!"

"Vani…You have to. For your own good." Vanitas covered hid mouth with his hand, shaking violently. "They don't represent who you are, just how you feel. Please, stop holding it in…"

Vanitas sobbed, closing his eyes in pure shame, wishing this wasn't happening again. But it was. The proof of his weakness, the proof that he had never grown strong like he thought he had.

A black, thick liquid started to come out of his mouth and shadows came to be from his body, dancing and twirling around him, under and above. They were everywhere, dripping from him like a damn disease, laughing at him, mocking him.  _ Weak _ , they screamed at the top of their lungs.  _ Pathetic _ , they wailed with tears of their own, with eyes that spoke through silence. The Unversed, dozens of them, moving through Ventus' room, monstrosities taking shape, dwelling in his tears and his sobs.

Vanitas coughed and vomited, trying to free himself of that thing, knowing he would never be able to. Ventus held him, he held him until he started crying and shivering, and he cried with him, in silence.

"They don't define who you are, Van."

Neverending eyes stared at them from the shadows. Ventus didn't fear them. But Vanitas...

"T-they're monsters… Just like me…"

Vanitas was terrified.

* * *

Ventus knew it wouldn't be easy.

Ever since the first time Vanitas came with them to The Land of Departure, things had changed drastically. Vanitas was still attached to his prior life, to his extreme need to survive through brute force. It took some time to soothe him, to make him understand that wouldn't be needed anymore, but after a whole life of fighting he simply knew no other way.

But they managed to. Ventus was patient and kind. He kept Vanitas comfortable, talked to him, Ventus  _ listened _ . He listened to everything he said which was odd for Vanitas. He had never had someone listen to him like this. Never had someone who genuinely cared. He regretted not joining his light before but even then he was glad he did in the end.

It wasn’t easy but he eventually understood. There was no need to fear this place or the people who lived in it. They were family and he was part of it now. His Unversed rarely came out again simply because he had learned to talk about his feelings and Ventus always allowed him to.

But after some time he started feeling uneasy again. Something within him changed for the worse, he could feel it, but he couldn’t quite understand what it was. He imagined that maybe he was just getting sick and that all he needed was to rest, but sleeping proved to be even worse for his nightmares came back again. Nightmares he had long forgotten and now came to taunt and haunt him.

Ventus could tell he was uneasy. He could tell there was something he wanted to do but, for some reason, refused to say out loud.

It was already night when he found him outside, sitting by himself on the stairs. Looking down to his own hands, his mind once again far away.

“Vanitas?” No answer. “Van? You… You okay?”

His other half turned his head to look at him and Ventus smiled with compassion. Vanitas looked tired, but he was still there with him. He took a few steps and sat down next to him, not saying a word for a few minutes.

“... Do you feel it?”

“Uh?” Ventus looked at him. Vanitas looked back, anxious. Scared. 

“Do you feel… Like something’s amiss? As if… As if something is still holding you in a place you don’t want to be at anymore?”

Ventus tilted his head, trying to understand his words. Vanitas sighed loudly and held his knees to his chest, looking down.

“I feel like… No matter what I do, he’s still with me.”

“Who?”

“Xehanort.”

The blond frowned, a bad feeling settling deep down in his stomach. Both avoided talking about him. He who had been their Master and who’d hurt them in different but still painful ways. Ventus couldn’t deny he felt that too, like a faint feeling, like a memory he couldn’t forget. Always there.

“I… I understand. But… He’s gone, Van. Been two years now.”

“I know. But… But then why-”

Vanitas was shaking again. He rubbed at his face with both hands, forcing his feelings down, red eyes once more finding their way into the darkness. Ventus held his hand.

“Van...”

“Then w-why do I still have them?” He looked at the blond and pointed to himself. His face. His eyes. “They’re not mine. They’re not  _ mine,  _ they’re  _ his _ and every time I looked into a mirror it’s like he’s staring back at me!”

“Van, he’s not-”

“First he took my face.” Vanitas continued, his voice heavy with contempt and sorrow. ”T-then… Then my eyes. No matter how much I try to be my own self, in one way or another I’ll always be just a piece.”

Ventus shook his head, softly, and put his arm around him. In the past, Vanitas would’ve pushed him away but not anymore. Instead, he leaned on him and closed his eyes, waiting for the sensation to go away as Ven cradled him. He let Vanitas be for a moment, let him breathe and relax, waited for his heart to settle down before speaking again.

“... Maybe… Maybe we should both go.”

“Go…? Go where?”

“You know where.” Ventus stroked his cheek. “To the place where we first met. Where… We became who we are now.”

“The Graveyard?” Vanitas looked up at him. “Why- Why should we go there?”

“I don’t know. I just… Think it’s worth a try.”

Vanitas frowned. He didn’t understand what Ventus meant but, in his heart, he knew he was right. There was nothing left on that forgotten land. Unless there was something.

“Tomorrow?” Ventus asked.

“...Tomorrow.”

* * *

The ground beneath them felt like home.

When Ventus and Vanitas arrived at the place, one shared glance was all it took to know they felt the same way. It was disgusting; to call such a place home and, yet, it was exactly that. The place where Vanitas was born through Ventus’ own rebirth.

It was silent, except for the gusts of wind that they were used to. They had felt these gusts before on their faces while walking through the Badlands, while seeking for help and guidance.

Vanitas felt his body hurt just by thinking about it and soon enough they were surrounded, not by enemies but by a part of themselves. Floods and Archravens moved around, too familiar with where they were but too tense and scared to move unless Vanitas did first. The raven bent over, running his finger over the sand.

“... What do you remember?”

Ventus looked away, to the mountains in the distance. To the Keyblade Graveyard, a place where he’d been before. A place where they’d fought not once, but twice. A place where his friends from a century ago had died, although that memory was still locked away, hurting him without giving him the explanation why.

“... Heartless.”

They started to walk. Neither looked at each other in the eye.

“... So many Heartless. Attacking me. I… Couldn’t do anything against them. I was-”

“Weak.” Vanitas spoke, not in a threatening tone. An understanding one. “Yeah. I felt that. I was… Still a part of you back then. You-” “We.”

“... We felt hopeless. And useless. And..”

“And scared. So, so very scared...”

They continued to walk, passing by rocks that were so much older than them. Rocks that had been there when Xehanort was defeated, that had been there since a lingering will refused to give in. They had been there to watch their own demise when they forged the X-Blade in the past and they were there when the Unions fought against one another.

“Then there was… Pain.” Ventus clutched at his chest, For a moment he didn’t move but then he pulled his clothing, staring down at his bare skin. At the scar that marked him like an X. “And I… I felt like crying. I knew I had lost something but I couldn’t muster the strength to get it back. I lost you.”

Vanitas pressed his lips together. His mind had been turmoil before they arrived. Now it… Fit into place. Slowly, step by step, it found its way. Guided him. Guided them.

“And suddenly I was. But… You didn’t see me.” Vanitas approached Ventus and he stared at him. Stared deep into his eyes. “You were… Gone. Still here, but… Gone. As though you were dead. And then I felt scared too.”

Ventus returned his gaze and reached for his hand. They resumed their walk, following the steps they themselves had left behind many years ago.

“I tried to take care of you. But all I felt… It all turned into anger. And when I saw myself in a mirror, I-”

_ like a heartless  _

“I had no face. Just two eyes. Red eyes.” He took a deep breath. “My own eyes.”

“And then I was taken. And Sora took your place in my heart.”

“And it hurt. It hurt like I was being torn into pieces. I hated you. I hated you but I wanted you with me. But...”

“... But I never came for you.” Ventus teared up. Vanitas did too. “I would have… But I didn’t know.”

“You had no way of knowing.”

“Neither did you! And… And that was probably when...”

“... When he found his vessel.” Vanitas closed his eyes. “When he found me.”

Vanitas felt as if the earth beneath him gave him. The sensation of his heart being taken over by fledgling emotions. Destructive ones.

“I did everything as I was told. He was always in my head, always… Always watching. A part of him inside me. I felt disgusting. I felt like I wasn’t myself.”

“And yet, you’re still here. “You’re still here, against everything he said.” 

Other Unversed gathered, closing into them.

“I… I should’ve died many years ago.“ Ventus whispered. “I still don’t remember why I didn’t. You and I were supposed to die too. Become one, not Ventus nor Vanitas. But…“

“But we didn’t.”

The creatures stood still, listening, watching. Waiting.

“We… Didn’t. But why?”

Changing.

“Because we’re so much more than what they told us, Van.”

Vanitas felt a lump in his throat. What did this mean? They didn’t follow their paths to this. He didn’t even know they were following the right path. It didn’t make sense.

“Vanitas, you’re not a piece anymore. You haven’t been a piece for a long time now. You are… Vanitas. Not Ventus. Not half Xehanort. You’re you.”

“But… But why do I feel like that isn’t the case? Why do I feel like I’m-”

“Because you’re still holding on to it. To your past. To the things that you felt back then. But you were a different person back then. I know this because… I do this too.”

Vanitas wasn’t sure. He really wasn’t sure that was the case. And even if it was, it wasn’t like he could simply leave that part of him behind.

“... Ventus-”

“We… Need to let them go.”

It felt clear now. Vanitas had to let them go but he wouldn’t be able to, not completely, if Ventus himself didn’t do the same.

“You don’t belong here anymore. We don’t belong here anymore even if it feels like we do.”

“Ventus-”

There was something in that place. Not a physical thing, something much more powerful. There were promises and phobias, restless dreams turned into nightmares. There were stories told through time, stories they had always been part of. 

“I… I’m not sure I can just… Let go of this, Ven. Maybe I don’t really want to. Maybe this is the way I’m supposed to be.”

“You can choose who you want to be. Your memories… They don’t define you. Nor does your face or the color of your eyes. What defines you is what you keep in your heart.”

Vanitas looked at the Unversed again but he didn’t stare for too long. Instead, he stared back at Ventus. At his other, better half. His Light.

His Unversed started to disappear. They moved and flowed right back into him, back to where they once belonged. Still with him.

“I can’t make them go away by myself, Ven…!”

Ventus pulled him into his arms, tightening his embrace. He couldn’t either. Vanitas couldn’t see them, Ventus’ own demons, clouding his mind. But he didn’t need to see, he could feel them. He could feel that, just like him, Ventus hadn’t let go just yet.

“We can do it together. Maybe… Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow, but…” 

“One day.”

They stood still. Their footsteps didn’t stop there. They moved forward, disappeared into the distance and turned into dust, a path they still had to face and a path they still hadn’t walked through. 

Their nightmares and sins couldn’t simply be forgotten in one day. They needed time. They needed each other. And it all started there, at the Graveyard. It was there that their own personal rebirth would take place. 

“Yeah… One day.”

And that was okay.  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> And so VanVen Week comes to an end again. This one was, whoa, I don't even know. It was hard to make so many drawings but I'm happy I managed to. Seeing everyone writing and drawing gave me the strength and inspiration I needed! Thank you everyone who participated, made content or enjoyed said content. It was a blast and I hope you guys had as much fun as I had!
> 
> That said, since we're allowed to scream anywhere we want about it I decided to let you know now that I've been accepted as a contributor to the VanVen Zine, Hearts Intertwined!! I still can't believe this is happening, I'm so so happy to be part of this and to work along with so many wonderful artists and writers! I'll be contributing as a writer and I owe this to all of you who always supported my work through all these years! Your support allowed me to get better at it and it makes me want to grow more and more as a writer and artist! So thank you once again for everything! ; v ; 
> 
> Happy New Year and hugs for you all!! <3


End file.
